I started to go out and date in secret, which felt like I was living a double life for some time but now I just feel it was my transition into acceptance of me.
It was at this point in my life that I realised that ‘being Gay is not an option’ and that if I wanted to be truly happy, meet someone who I love and have them love me back, then I had to start being honest with myself and everyone else. As I say, I really did enjoy my childhood, my teen years and early adult life but for a very long time, I had to pretend that in the situation of relationships, I was someone else.įor the purpose of this blog post not being a novel, I will now fast forward through childhood, teenage years and arrive at me as a 23-year-old, having been in numerous relationships with girls, desperately trying to make them work but always knowing deep down that it was just never going to make me happy. I don’t feel bad about this, as that was my normal at the time and has led me to where I am now. There was always something in the back of my mind telling me that I fancied boys rather than girls, but with my Dad being a professional boxer, me being a really keen young footballer and on the outside being what people would describe as a ‘typical young lad’, it just wasn’t an option to allow these thoughts to become anything other than just thoughts in the back of my mind. I grew up in south east London on a council estate, with my Mum, Dad and two sisters (me being the oldest) and can honestly say I have great memories of my upbringing and childhood life.
So, I’m going to try my best to open up a bit in this blog, in the hope that it may help someone reading it.
I wasn’t sure how to explain my journey as a 34-year-old married gay man, with two children through adoption and living on the most part a completely carefree life in a short blog, because sometimes I feel so accepted in society, that it blinds me from seeing how difficult things can still be for our community.